Law 13 of 48
When Asking for Help, Appeal to People's Self-Interest.
When seeking assistance or cooperation from others, frame your request in a way that aligns with their self-interest or personal motivations. Highlight the potential benefits or rewards they stand to gain by supporting you, appealing to their desires or objectives. By appealing to people's self-interest, you can increase the likelihood of them providing the assistance or resources you need to achieve your goals.
Independent commentary on a principle popularised in The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and Joost Elffers. Not affiliated with or endorsed by the authors or their publishers.
What it actually means
People help you when helping you serves something they already want. Framing a request around your own need puts all the cost on them and all the benefit on you. This is not manipulation; it is the basic courtesy of making the exchange visible instead of hiding it.
Where you would have seen it
You ask a colleague to review your deck by Friday and explain how far behind you are. She agrees, then it slips. The version that gets done is the one where you mention her name goes on the pitch and the client sits in her region.
Try it today
Before your next request, write down in one line what the other person gets from saying yes. If you cannot name it, call it a favour.
Where this shows up
Law 13 tends to come up in these parts of life. Follow a path to read the other laws that belong with it:
Persuasion · Negotiating · At Work
Laws that go with it
If law 13 landed, these are the entries people usually read next — they cover overlapping ground: law 21, law 3, law 5.
Seem Dumber Than Your Mark.
Showing how much you know buys a moment of credit and costs far more in what people stop telling you.
NegotiatingPersuasionAt WorkLaw 3Conceal Your Intentions.
There is a difference between lying about what you want and simply not announcing it before it is ready.
At WorkPersuasionLaw 5So Much Depends on Reputation — Guard It with Your Life.
Reputation is the summary people carry of you when you are not in the room, and it is assembled from repeated small things rather than from your best moment.
PersuasionAt Work